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Paragraph. I hate theatre. Well, it’s so disappointing, isn’t it? You know what I do when I’m sitting in a darkened theatre waiting for the curtain to rise? I pray. Derar God, please let it be a good show. And let it be short, oh Lord in heaven, please. Two hours is fine, three hours is too much. And keep the actors out of the audience. God. I didn’t pay a hundred dollars to have the fourth wall come crashing down around my ears. I just want a story, and a few good songs that will take me away. I just want to be entertained. I mean, isn’t that the point? Amen.

You know there was a time when people sat in darkened theatres and thought to themselves, “What have George and Ira got for me tonight?” or “Can Cole Porter pull it off again?” Can you imagine? Now it’s, “Please, Elton John, must we continue this charade?” It used to be, sitting there in the dark, you knew that when the lights came up you would be taken to another world, a world full of color and music and glamour. And you thought to yourself, “My God, when are they going to bring up the lights?”

Blockquote. Oh, how things have changed. Hello. How are we today? A little quiet? I’m feeling a little blue myself. You know, a little anxious for no particular reason, a little sad that I should feel anxious at this age, you know, a little self-conscious anxiety resulting in non-specific sadness: a state that I call “blue.”

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This page was last updated on 08/05/2015